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The 4 Crucial C’s of Your Inner Child

The Inner Child is a concept that suggests we have a subpersonality type that’s formed by the lessons we learned before puberty. These early experiences, however, can sometimes lead to emotional wounds that can continue to impact us as adults.

I’m Alan Hickey, therapist at Silver River Counseling, and in this article, I want to share with you the habits, thoughts, and behaviors of children, and how they can help us understand our own inner selves.

It’s important to note that there’s a distinct difference between childlike and childish thoughts and behaviors. Childlike curiosity is great, but childish tantrums are not.

With that being said, let’s jump in!

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Children thrive on stability and consistency, as it helps them make sense of the world around them and formulate questions when something seems amiss. To do so, they need to believe in the 4 C’s:

  • They have the courage to ask for help when they need it.
  • They are capable of exploring the world around them without fear.
  • Their words, emotions, and thoughts all count.
  • They have a valid connection with those around them.

It’s important that we are conscientious of what enters their minds, lest we unintentionally discourage them with our own words, gestures, or responses.

As parents – and as human beings – we need to be gentle with ourselves and be mindful of our internal dialogue because people respond to encouragement very well.

Occasionally, people may demonstrate a sense of inadequacy. Those around us may scoff and say that we’re being lazy or that we never wanted to learn X, Y, and Z.

It’s important to remember that some people are still gaining the courage to ask for help, and they are trying to show you that they feel incapable of completing a task.

When possible, we try to highlight a person’s strengths to remind them they are highly capable.

What you say and do makes a difference. What you think and feel matters.

People often discount their own subjective realities when they rely heavily on either just their thoughts or just their feelings. Remember, both count!

If you suddenly feel sad and can’t make sense of it, take some time to reflect on it.

Lastly, as social creatures, we crave a sense of connection, not only with other people but also with the world around us and within ourselves.

Therapy can help you feel connected with the world around you – in the sense of keeping up with the different roles you may have, either as a parent, student, employee, or hobbyist.

It can help us understand and work through those issues and behaviors we learned as a child.

When we are able to integrate our experiences in healthy and productive ways, we can learn to live more fulfilling lives as adults.

If you’re ready to do the good work of exploring your inner child and begin to integrate those emotional wounds so you can learn to live more fulfilling life now, then click schedule an appointment today. We can help.