4 Tips to Meaningfully Connect With Your Child
There’s a lot of pressure to be the perfect parent. It can be hard to know what you’re doing wrong when your child is constantly expressing big emotions, or displaying aggressive behavior, and you’re frustrated because you don’t feel like you’re able to connect.
In this video, I’ll give you four tips on how to meaningfully connect with your kids and become more intentional about your relationship with them.
1. Know That Your Child is Naturally Goal Driven.
First, know that your child is naturally goal driven and craves a sense of belonging.
You want your child to know that you are present and you are ready to listen to them, because this helps them travel towards that goal of belonging in the relationship. One simple way to accomplish this is get on their level to communicate instead of towering over them from an adult perspective.
Don’t be afraid to physically get down on the floor with them so you’re able to look them straight in the eyes to connect.
2. Reflect What You See.
The second way to connect with your child is to reflect what you see.
A way to reflect to your child is to say, “I see that you’re feeling upset about not watching that show.” Or, “I see you’re excited about going to your friend’s house to play.”
It’s hard to relate to your child and at times finding the right words to be helpful in the moment can be difficult. Adults are naturally used to being “fixers”. It feels familiar to correct and direct, and this comes from the way they see their child, themselves, and the world around them. But this can unintentionally stifle a child’s creativity and deters them from exploring and learning their own limits.
As parents we do not have to solve a child’s problem, what is more important to a child’s development is that they feel that they are seen and heard. So how do you achieve this when you are learning what NOT to say/do? Just reflect what you see the child experiencing in the moment.
3. Be Mindfuld of Your Own Emotional Responses.
The third way to meaningfully connect with your child is to be mindful of your own emotional responses as it relates to your child’s behavior.
Often, a dysregulated parent is not having trouble with their child because of something the child has done. What is more likely is that the parent’s emotional response is triggering something deeper in the parent about themselves and they push this responsibility to their child.
It is okay to say to your child, “I need to take a minute to calm down and then we can talk.” This not only allows you to address your own emotional needs in the moment, but you are showing your child how to do this for themselves, and this is the best way to teach children by example.
4. Find Common Ground with Your Child.
Try talking about things you have in common like their favorite show or movie, or even a favorite game to play. This will help them know that you’re interested in them and will give you built in conversation topics.
When it comes to your relationship with your child, the most important thing is that you are intentional about how you connect with them.
Whether you’re just beginning your parenting journey or have been a parent for many years, take some time to think through these ideas and find ways to better relate to your child. If you want help getting the tools you need to better connect to and support your child, schedule an appointment with me today!